Asking why is important. Like, REALLY important. Why do we do the things we do? Why do we believe the things we believe?
Life is messy + we tend to operate on auto pilot a lot of the time (at least I do 😅). But can you blame us? With work, family commitments, friends, leisure time, + whatever else pulls at our attention, there's a lot that demands our very limited brain power. Why wouldn't we relegate some things to auto pilot??
But the patterns of yesterday might not always serve us. The things we tell ourselves might've been true in the past, but do they still ring true now? If we base our actions off of beliefs that don't align w/ our values anymore, we run the risk of falling into situations that are shitty.
So, here are some of my common phrases + me trying to dig beneath the surface. Hopefully it is a good prompt for someone out there to do the same 🙂
I love my work.
Why?
It is satisfying, + I get a great deal of fulfillment from being able to help people.
Why?
Helping people feels nice. I get to help clients showcase what they do to the world. I learn about a bunch of different industries + engage in work that makes a difference. It's a career that challenges me technically, but also personally. Can I network w/ people, build connections, + use those to learn more about the world around me? Can I engage w/ a client's business, + understand what they do in such a way that I can help convince random strangers to see it the same way the client does? While there's challenging aspects to any job, I feel truly blessed that I get to do what I do. Having an amazing team to do it with also helps make the process that much sweeter.
I see.
BJJ makes me so damn happy.
Why?
It gives me purpose, it's fulfilling to apply yourself to a skill. To try + master something.
Why?
I love the way I feel after training, putting in effort, + seeing results. Sometimes those results were from seeds planted weeks/months/years ago. I love the community that I've found, the people that lift me up + encourage me to be better, but are just as happy to play + enjoy the little things in life. Yes the training is important, but the people that surround me make the process all the richer. They help you celebrate the wins + learn from the losses. I'm so incredibly lucky to have them at my side... This is made all the more real after not having that connection for almost 6 months. I missed it because all of those things that I loved were now observed through a glass box that I couldn't fully engage with. Well, some of them, I still had the people encouraging me + hanging out with, just in different context now. But it's not the same. I felt myself backsliding, missing out on that knowledge. But I know I'll get it all back, it just takes time.
That makes sense.
I feel lonely, I want a partner.
Why?
Because I want a family, I want someone to share a life with.
Why?
Because I think it will be satisfying? I think having someone to experience this crazy wild journey will enrich it somehow?
Dig deeper. Why?
Life is hard. Having someone by your side to weather that storm, to rely on when you're weak, + to in turn lift them up when they're struggling, sounds like a nice thing to have. To have the knowledge + security to know you're not alone, is a comfort. Yes, these things don't have to come exclusively from a romantic relationship, but they do provide a special kind of camaraderie that I feel is hard to replicate in other connections...As for wanting a kid... I think the bond you build with a little one is as special as they come. To see them grow, learn, + eventually build their own morals/beliefs/purpose sounds really nice. I also think it's like when you teach someone a new skill that you are familiar with. Being forced to re-examine those long held fundamentals + engage with them in a new way as you teach them to someone without all the context you've built up over the years enriches your understanding of the subject. I think having a kid encourages you to do the same but for life at large. Again, not unique to having a child of your own but you don't get to experience the full extent of that when it's someone else's kid.
Interesting...